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Welcome to Tricycle Day. We’re the psychedelics newsletter that wants to be your bestie. Promise we’d never ghost you. And you know we’d bring fire memes to the group chat. 🤙

When someone you care about tries psychedelics, of course you want it to go well.

But it’s also easy to get carried away, especially if you’ve had your own journeys. You might be tempted to unpack their insights or guide them toward specific realizations. After all, you want what's best for them. (Integration!) And you’ve been there, done that. Surely you, a seasoned psychonaut, have something valuable to contribute, right?

Yeah, about that…

For today’s newsletter, we asked our network of experienced practitioners: What's the best way to support a partner or friend who's going through their own psychedelic healing process?

Their advice below might save your relationship.

FROM OUR SPONSORS

Legal psilocybin therapy costs $1,000-$3,500. And it’s worth every penny.

But for many, cost is the one thing standing between them and healing.

The Forward Fund exists to fix that. It pays for people’s journeys when they can’t afford to.

So far, it’s been funded by companies (all Tricycle Day sponsors, btw!) and individuals “paying it forward” after their own experiences.

Now that it’s managed by the 501(c)(3) nonprofit, Thank You Life, contributions are tax-deductible and (still) go directly toward underwriting journeys.

Every dollar makes a difference.

Donate to the Forward Fund.

Stay in your lane

We know you want to help. But the practitioners we surveyed were emphatic about this point: do not meddle with their process. Erin Witter puts it plainly: “I must remember that I'm their partner or friend, not their practitioner, and I must hold my own boundaries, honor theirs, and trust their inner healer to lead the way.”

Wallace Murray agrees: “If someone you love is doing psychedelic work, the most healing thing you can offer is presence without an agenda, and please don't try to be their therapist.” Clara Mackinlay drives the point home: “Remember you're not their coach or therapist; you're their partner. Your job isn't to fix anything, but to witness with compassion and consistency.”

This boundary is as important for you as it is for them. As Jonathan Schecter notes, “Their process may shift parts of them, or the relationship. Some patterns will fall away as they grow. You cannot stop that.” The best thing you can do is stay grounded in your own work, so you don’t panic when the boat inevitably rocks.

Help them help you help them

Here's a radical idea. Instead of assuming you know how to help, just ask. Kathy Gruver recommends a direct approach: “I really like to ask how they want me to be for them. Do they want a listening ear, do they want to unpack things, or do they want me to coach them?”. (She’s actually a coach, so that’s a fair question.)

Scott Dean offers specific language you can use: “‘How can I support you right now?’ or ‘Do you want my thoughts, or just someone to listen?’” These kinds of questions acknowledge their agency while making your support available on their terms.

Oxana Kirsanova adds that once you get an answer, well, you actually have to “honor their boundaries.” Because the truth is, you can't do the work for them. As Kari Roe-LaFramboise wisely notes, “One way to support a partner or friend who's going through their own psychedelic healing process is to try not to fix them. Just be there, listen, and hear their story.”

Be the rock

We’ve established that your role is not to solve anything. So what can you do? It may not feel like much, but your job is to be calm and patient. Avery Collura captures this idea beautifully: “Be the steady one. Not the therapist, not the interpreter. Just steady. After a journey, people do not need advice; they need presence.”

Sara Call agrees: “The most powerful thing you can offer is your presence. You do not need to understand every layer of what they are feeling. Just hold space. Listen without trying to fix anything.” Sometimes, she notes, “the simple act of being there to witness is the medicine they need most.”

That steadiness bleeds into the practical, too. Michelle Harrell encourages partners to “give them time before making major life decisions, and remind them that whatever unfolds—clarity, confusion, or change—you'll be there with steady support, not pressure.” And when it comes to the basics, Ben Askins reminds us how to care for our fellow humans: “Let them break. Let them bloom. Bring soup.”

Our take

You may wanna sit down for this.

The truth is, this whole process could be harder on you than it is on them.

Watching someone you love change can be scary. Especially if their growth means disrupting old patterns in your relationship. When they come back from touching the infinite, will they still be the same person? (Short answer: No.) Will they still have room for you in their life? (That depends on how you respond.)

That’s why it’s so important that you’re Doing The Work™️ yourself.

After all, you’re not much of a rock if you crumble every time there’s a little earthquake, are ya?

Got a question for our guides?

Reply to this email to shoot your shot. If it’s a juicy one, we may select it for a future issue.

Seeking more personalized guidance?

Our directory of vetted psychedelic professionals is a great place to start your search. Find a facilitator on Maria’s List.

UNTIL NEXT TIME

That’s all for today, Cyclists! Whenever you’re ready, here’s how we can help.

ONE CYCLIST’S REVIEW

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DISCLAIMER: This newsletter is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice. The use, possession, and distribution of psychedelic drugs are illegal in most countries and may result in criminal prosecution.